There is a growing trend in society towards certainty and the more uncontrollable the world seems the greater the human pursuit of certainty becomes. Desiring certainty is not a negative activity, it is a human need to have stability and consistency in our lives. It is also something as a species we have sought as part of our survival, there have been significant historical shifts to make our life experiences more certain. Social connections, centralised structures, adaptation to farming and livestock and our harnessing of resources to ensure a more certain future.
All these actions have been in the pursuit of certainty, and we still seek it in our everyday lives. There seems no end to our desire, perhaps because there is an undercurrent of a need for control. Each of us has a relationship with control. A sense that if we can control the external world, we can limit the risk to those parts of ourselves that we are seeking to protect. No matter who we are or what personality style we connect with, we are all seeking love. There are needs we have that in being fulfilled give us that sense of acceptance of who we are and that we are enough – we are loved.
The world is in a period of change and transition, wars, rumours of war, truth becoming increasingly fluid, trust being eroded in power structures – are all playing a part in our search for what can be certain for us. Change is constant and the tension it can create in us can be confronting. In the vacuum of wanting safety, our search for certainty can increase.
It is now more than ever that we need to look within ourselves at what drives this need for certainty for us. When we do not understand what drives our search for certainty, we can be lead away from the nuances of our needs. We can experience strong emotions and moods that impact our lives. Seeking to understanding ourselves, will assist in identifying what is helpful or unhelpful in our search. Bringing our search back to our needs helps us to move in acceptance of ourselves, to love ourselves and reconnect with what is important to us.
The journey with uncertainty isn’t just an individual one, we need trusted voices in our lives. However, there is a part of the journey that comes from understanding ourselves and what our needs are to give us that sense of safety. Taking care of ourselves, allows us to become more aware and better equipped to manage ourselves holistically.
Change isn’t easy; however, it becomes easier to transition the more aware we are of what drives our perspectives, actions, and behaviours. We can develop a resilient relationship with change, by supporting ourselves and our needs. We can become more comfortable with uncertainty, by being clear about what our needs are and moving in acceptance that we are not always in control. Rather than seek the world to be more certain, seek to control the world around us, we understand and meet our own needs. Moving in acceptance of uncertainty allows us to embrace the possibility of what can be and live in the wonder of now.
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